What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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VITAMIN C!

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops