Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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27

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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