What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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