Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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