Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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womens rights

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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