An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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