What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What does greg and Ian have in common?

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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