What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Yes

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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This is not funny.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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ask me if im a door yes

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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