Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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say it ten times fast: oh

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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