What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women outside of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops