Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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A guy walks into a bar

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops