Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A van drives into a car.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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