school homewrok

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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