2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

bangers and mash?

I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

Justin beiber comment if u get it

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...