How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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9/11

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops