What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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hi

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops