Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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