What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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