What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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