YO FACE

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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