What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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