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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Sarah Palin.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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