A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

Your girlfriend.

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

This is my favorite antijoke.

What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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