My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops