Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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