- Anti Joke

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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