(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Its behind you like if you looked behind

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops