How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

24

A seal walks into a club.

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

Whats brown and smells bad poo

Poker? I barely even know her.

what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

haha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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