If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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