A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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It's all Taggart

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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