Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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I was watching Fox news.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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BIG PENIS

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops