The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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