why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Good job, son.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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