Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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