what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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you see theres this guy.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops