What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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