how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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