Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops