Obama = ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Gay marriage is freaking gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops