How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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