So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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