Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops