roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I hate Jews The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops