What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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