Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops