Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Charlie Sheen

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Men

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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