Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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