Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops