What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Mogok Papiti.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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How did th-A fridge.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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