Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

thumb_up thumb_down -52

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops