Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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