There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops