What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops