Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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