why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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